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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Unsane Sam - Chapter 1

UNSANE SAM

Chapter 1

Sam didn’t go unsane until his 24 birthday. I say “unsane” because Sam thought his sanity was sky rocketing him onto the moon. Sam thought that his sanity was the direct opposite of insane which would naturally make him unsane. You get it?

The 24th birthday of a man is sometimes a painful thing. Especially when everyone leaves you all alone at your table at the Claim Jumper to go on about their business; to be busy with their lives, before you get your piece of birthday cake. When the waitress brought it out, she and a couple other co-workers sang the Claim Jumper Birthday Anthem “Happy, happy birthday from Claim Jumper to you! Happy, happy birthday from Claim Jumper to you HEY!” This happened to Sam on his 24th birthday.

Sam sat there all alone at the very large table, that normally Sam would be wondering what kind of wood that the table was made out of. So Sam sat at the large table in the Claim Jumper restaurant, surrounded by people who are enjoying their lunch with their families, while he blew out the single candle on top his Mudpie. When he closed his eyes to make his wish, tears rolled out of both eyes.

This was his wish: “God, please let me be happy.”

On other birthdays with more candles and more family singing and cheering, Sam would wish for things like guitars, certain girls that would fall in love with him, and fame and fortune (which by the way has always been something that has eluded him). But, today Sam’s only wish is that God would make him happy.

Sam then realized that his unsanity was very rapidly flowing through him. To Sam this is a curse. Not on its own, but it is a curse because Sam was already cursed, with another curse!

Gritty - Chapter 1

Gritty

This is the closet I have ever been to an erect penis as a vagina slams down on it in quick succession. I am laying on my stomach in between Jay's legs as the hooker bounces on him. I wanted to get really close because the room I am in is pretty dark. It is only lit with a small reading lamp on the night stand. It is really only lighting up Jay’s head and chest. I am thinking that he can’t even see the hooker’s face on top of him. The light in the room from where i am begins to strobe. Every time the hooker bounces up the shaft light comes though the gap. When she slams back down it becomes dark again. The strobe effect is getting faster now because the hooker is getting ready to fake an orgasm to try to induce an orgasm from Jay which will also make Jay’s self-esteem go up, ensuring himself that he is a great fuck.

I was right. She faked the orgasm. Jay came. The strobe slowed down. The hooker giggled and Jay feels like a God. Just for the next couple minutes though. Jay is getting ready to leave and when he does, the hooker will lay down on the bed and get out her Coochie Kamikaze and crank it to 11 and in 45 seconds she will scream, cum and squirt all over the bed. She will then light a cigarette and relax with a smile. Three hours from now though, she will ingest a lethal dose of heroin and will not be found for four days due to the fact that she pays by the week.

Frankenstein - Chapter 1

Frankenstein

The sun is just breaking the horizon. The rooster is cock-a-doodle-dooing. Victor just opened his eyes. Victor was having a dream about an old TV show he used to watch as a kid, Tales of Tomorrow. It was a show like the Twilight Zone before the Twilight Zone. One of his favorite episodes was the one where Lon Chaney Jr. was playing the monster in Frankenstein. Lon Chaney Jr. didn’t look like the monster that he played in Ghost of Frankenstein, but looked more like Robert De Niro monster in Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein.

Anyway, Victor doesn’t dream like most people. Victor dreams like he is watching a movie. He closes his eyes and the movie begins. After the credits, he opens his eyes and wakes up. Sometimes he gets scared and sometimes he doesn’t. You know how when you dream, you dream of your family and friends, Victor doesn’t have either. He has his TV. He dreams about his friends from the screen.

Victor sleeps in his clothes. Victor has black jeans, a white shirt and a black hooded sweatshirt. He also has these really nifty Velcro sneakers that he got at a yard sale a couple years ago. I shouldn’t say that he got them at the yard sale, but after the yard sale ended, and they threw everything away that didn’t sell, Victor dug through their trash and found the wonderful Velcro sneakers. He also has a couple other things that he thinks are of value, but they are hidden in his room somewhere, just in case robbers come in, they wouldn’t be able to find the stuff very quickly.

Victor gets up and walks across his apartment which looks like a bedroom, living room and dining room, all in one. In fact, that is the order of the room as Victor walks through it. His little twin bed rests underneath the only window in the apartment. As soon as he gets out of bed, he walks in between the couch and the small black and white television that sits up on a milk crate. As he makes it past the living room, he walks into the dining room which consists of a small desk and two chairs on either end. This is his dining room table. Right past that is the beaded curtain that leads down the stairs into Victors bathroom.

Victor walks down the stairs and instead of making his way to the toilet, like most people would when they wake up, he makes his way to the giant utility sink to brush his teeth. I made Victor with the special innate trait to never have to evacuate his bladder or bowels. This gives him much more time to brush his teeth and make sure that they are clean.

After Victor brushes his teeth, which lasts anywhere form 15 to 20 minutes, Victor turns around to his small, little Coleman grill that sits upon a broken washing machine. It is here where Victor cooks his one meal of the day. Eggs. Victor loves eggs. Every morning after he brushes his teeth, he cooks his breakfast which consists of eggs. And every morning, to try to put some spice in his life, he tries to cook the eggs a different way. One day he tried over-easy, another he tried poached, yet another he tried an empty omelet. But, everyday, the eggs end up being scrambled. Today Victor tried over-hard.

Victor walks past the door, and up the stairs.

The door!

I forgot to tell you about the door! At the bottom of Victors stairs is a door that leads into the kitchen of the “landlord’s” house in which Victor “rents” his apartment from. I use all of these terms very loosely. Victor’s landlord is a woman named Shelly. Shelly is in her mid thirties. She likes to smoke (mainly cigarettes and weed), drink coffee in the morning and drink anything with alcohol at anytime after 10 am. She doesn’t do fucking anything other than party.

If Victor wants to go outside, he has to walk out his door, into her kitchen. If he does this, it is pretty certain that he will run into Shelly, which means that he would have to have a conversation with her. The problem Victor has though is that he is unable to enter into a conversation with another human being without considerable trouble. As soon as someone starts talking to him, it starts a rabbit trail in Victor’s mind that could lead him to a character in a movie saying the exact same thing. At that point Victor trails off and starts watching the movie in his head. All of this leads to the fact that Victor rarely, and I mean rarely leaves his room.

Victor jogs past the door and runs up the stairs to eat his breakfast. He sits down at his little dining room table desk, puts down his plate, and opens up the porno magazine that was laying on the table, takes a bite of eggs and flips a page in the porno magazine. This too, is a routine for Victor, which he has been doing for years. Well, at least as long as his mother has been dead. I’ll tell you all about her later.

The pornography on the other hand, is a past time of Victors that he likes to do in-between watching movies and doing everything else that Victor does, which really isn’t that much. Victor really likes that part of the magazines that shows all the phone numbers that you could call or the ads for 40 DVD’s for 12 dollars! You know, the weird movies where it has things like, “A Chick with TWO DICKS!”, or “Hermaphrodite and its Horse” that kind of thing. He looks at those pictures, has himself a laugh, gets an erection, wants to touch it, and feels loads of guilt than goes to the next picture. You know, very normal.

After his eggs, Victor walks back down the stairs, peeks out the door, and if Shelly has made coffee, he will run out there and pour himself a cup. Shelly drinks her morning coffee on the back porch because she doesn’t smoke cigarettes in the house. Shelly has to have a cigarette with her morning coffee. So, this means Victor could get his coffee and run out the front door and most likely not run into her. She really isn’t a morning person.

Success!

Shelly has already gone out back with her coffee. Victor gets his coffee and runs out the front. He sits on a chair that he sits on every morning and thinks of what he will do that day. And like everyday, he decides that he will stay inside and watch old movies. He knows that Night of the Living Dead will be on in a little bit on channel 9. Victor will build his day around this two hour event.

The Room Mate - Chapter 1

The Room Mate

It has been almost 10 minutes since Dale and Ashley have walked through the door, poured their coffee, and not spoken. The only sounds that are echoing through this newly moved into apartment are that of children playing outside and of Dale slurping his coffee. It is quite annoying.

“So have you gotten any work lately?” Ashley says. She hasn’t looked at Dale since they have been in the room. She is just starring absently, at the coffee table.

The two sit on the black leather sofa that Dale got at Big Lots for only $299! Can you believe it?

Ashley has her legs crossed. She really looks a lot like Camille Keaton from I Spit on Your Grave by Meir Zarchy. I guess I like that movie. It tends to come up a lot. But let’s get back to Dale’s answer to Ashley’s most nerve wrecking question.

After a really long pause, Dale says “No.” Dale hasn’t looked at Ashley either. But he is sitting on the edge of the couch looking intently at nothing while he drinks his coffee with the drive of a mad man, hell bent on world domination.

Silence.

Ashley breaks it. “Have you been trying?”

“Yes.” Dale thinks his answer over a bit. “No. Every time I get on the computer to write something, I find that it’s all fucked up from Harry looking at porn or something, so I have to defrag it and clean it and fix it!” Dale takes a nice breath, a sip of coffee, and then sighs. “I just wish he would get his own computer.”

To give Harry a little bit of credit here, it’s not just porn that he is looking at. He does indeed look at a lot of porn on the internet, but what is really fucking the computer up is the fact that Harry is extremely competitive. So every time that Harry goes to log on to myspace, there is some stupid little flash game like, “Be the first to shave Brittney’s head!” or “Slap Bush” or some other stupid race. Whenever you do anything like that, your computer gets riddled with all kinds of spyware and bullshit that make your computer runs like a frozen tortoise.

Dale gets up and walks towards the kitchen. He doesn’t say excuse me when he walks past Ashley. Nor does Ashley try to move at all to get out of his way. It’s all very clumsy looking I think. As Dale walks by he asks, “You want some coffee?”

“No.” Ashley never raises her voice. She is very soothing when she speaks. Dale is having a very hard time right now because he wants to get defensive. Ashley continues, “I told you that you and Harry wouldn’t get along as well together once you moved in with him.”

Dale doesn’t respond.

“Have you unpacked yet?” This is a slightly stupid question considering that there are boxes lined up around the walls of the living room.

Dale walks back into the living room with his fresh cup of coffee. Again, the two do not acknowledge each other on the pass.

“No.” Dale answers. “Almost. I have just been coming in here and sitting in front of that computer and, not writing. I don’t write. It drives me crazy.”

“My dad told you that he would let you put a story in his magazine. He is willing to pay you.” Ashley’s voice hit the next octave on that last line. Her anger is starting to show. But now she is calm again. “You don’t want to get kicked out of your new place without even paying a months rent, do you?”

“No. It’s not that. I just can’t fucking work here! It’s too noisy with all of those fucking kids running around outside until the middle of the night. And then there’s Harry who all night long makes all of these weird ass noises and shit and it throws me off. I put on my headphones to drown him out and the mother fucker comes out here, dripping with sweat, with an empty bottle of Crown and trashes around out here! I can’t sleep, I can’t think…”

Ashley interrupts, “Maybe you should lay off the coffee.”

Just then, the front door flies open. It’s Harry, looking super fucking GQ even though he is stumbling drunk. He barely holds himself up as he comes through the door with a new lady friend who looks just as fucked up as he does.

Ashley doesn’t break her stare from the coffee table. “Hi, Harry.”

Harry and his lady friend don’t really stop walking as they enter. Harry tries to be polite anyway. “Hey, this is Darla. Darla, this is my room mate Dale and his girl Ashley. Now lets get to the Stabbin’ Cabin!”

Harry keeps walking towards the hallway and is dragging Darla by the hand. Darla on the other hand, is trying a little harder to be polite. Darla says, “What a pig. I am sorry guys. It was really nice to meet you.” And with that, Harry successfully pulled Darla into the Stabbin’ Cabin.

Dale lays his head back on the couch and places his hands over his eyes. “I’m loosing my fucking mind.”

Blood Lust Romance - Chapter 1

Chapter 1

If you close your eyes, you will not be able to read this. So instead of telling you to close them I will tell you to keep them open. Bobby Jo on the other hand, has turned all of the lights out in her living room where she sits to watch a movie. The screen is filled with static. She must be rewinding the film. I wanted her to watch it on DVD but she likes the old school VHS tapes. Whatever. Bobby Jo then reached her hand out to the end table to grab a cigarette out of the soft pack. She lights it—takes a long deep inhale. Bobby Jo is so fucking hot when she smokes. I’m standing behind her right now. She doesn’t know it though. The silhouette of her head framed by the static of the television is very beautiful. The smoke coming up on top of it just adds that little bit of Noir to it if you know what I mean.

I just deiced that the reason she is staring at the TV while the tape is rewinding is because it is a ritual for her. She stares at it to get in the mood. Turns out the lights and zones out so she can become a character in the film just as I am now a character in this book. I walk around to see her profile glow from the television light. She can’t see me, though. I made it that way. I am also wearing the big black fur coat that Mrs. Creep got me with the long furry cuffs. Hell, I will have a smoke too. Let me get all voyeur on her ass She is a very good looking girl. Blonde hair. Long and straight. Most of it pulled back but just some little wispy's hanging down her face on the sides. I watch her breasts heave up when she takes a hit and follow the smoke out of her nice full lips. But I guess I should have the phone ring now.

“Ring-Ring,” says the phone.

Like a good girl Bobby Jo picks up the phone. She is eager because she knows who is on the other end.

“Hi baby,” Bobby Jo says in a very sultry voice. “I miss you. Oh, I’m watching Friday the 13th...Part 3...you know it, Sugar...these movies always get me wet... I’m touching it right now...ya it’s soaking...so what are you gonna do to me?”

It is important that I do not tell you who is on the other end of the phone even though you will find out quite soon. It is also important that I do not tell you what was said on the other end of the phone. Why? I don’t know yet. I will let you know though.