Gratitude list

Today, I am grateful for my beautiful wife Nikki. I love her so much and would do anything for her. Wish I never would have taken her for granted. She is so amazing. Today she read me an article about people belly laughing during climax. It was great. I recorded a video of it but she would kill me if I posted it. Lol. Today I am also grateful that I was able to try new things with her. We had Peruvian food today for the first time and it was really good. I know now that when I go to Machu Pichu, I won't starve. (I'm sure I spelt that wrong). We then went to Percila's coffee shop. (spelt that one wrong too I bet). And just talked and people watched. Had a funny joke about sodomy with the barista. Good times. We then got some good smelling stuff at Mindful Nest. It makes her smell so good. Never forget that. Grateful for it. Then we went to the grocery store to get some stuff for dinner. We came home had another big talk, then meditated and napped. Grateful for those moments. Then we had visitors again. It seemed ok. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Grateful that those visits have been peaceful. Nikki then made some shrimp fettacini Alfredo while I made a mixed veggie salad with a red wine vinaigrette. Very good dinner. I have never liked shrimp but Nikki did a great job cooking it in butter and garlic. It was really good. Grateful for that experience. Then we had a smoke, made some coffee, watched The Ward (better than I thought) and then we ended our date day with her logging onto work and me sitting out back blogging. All in all, it was amazing to get outside the house and be with her under better circumstances. I love her do much and she is so beautiful and such a good mom. I love her with all my heart and can't imagine life without her. Again, something I'm grateful for. I know a lot of people out there will never find the kind of love that Nikki and I share and that makes me a little sad. But I also know that when you don't have something this special, you can never know the pain of losing it. And if you fall into that category, consider yourself lucky. Because that guy that says, "it's better to love and lost than to never love at all" is completely full of shit. That brings me to my next point. Being Creep Creepersin has been so very bitter sweet. I have attained all my childhood dreams: made movies, written books, recorded albums, gone on tour, etc. But, one of my biggest dreams that being Creep Creepersin has helped me fail at was being the best husband in the world. I used to take pride in thinking that I was in a healthy marriage and that I wouldn't become like my parents. But in neglecting things in my personal life in exchange for my career, really took its toll. I always thought there would be more time to do all the family stuff and that my marriage was solid and that nothing could break that. One thing could, Creep Creepersins ego! So, if you are reading this and your married, please listen to me...you have to put your spouse first. There will never be enough time or enough money to do the things you want with your spouse. You just have to do them now. There will always be reasons and excuses to not do something, but when your alone, all those reasons and excuses seem pretty petty and small. Once you hit that point, there is absolutely nothing that can save it. It's over. Lucky for me, I think I have another chance to make things right and save my family. I'm taking anger management classes, meditation classes, and most importantly, re-evaluating my life and career. At this point, I don't know what I am or what I'll do. I just know that nikki will come first and Creep will have to take a very distant backseat while Matt tries to better his life. I am grateful for that. Good luck to you all.