Chapter 2
By the way, all of this is true. It all really happened. Some names have been changed to protect people. I won’t tell you if I am Dale or Harry, but I am at least one of them.
Anyway. On with the show.
So it is now the middle of the night. I can’t tell you what time it is because the clock is facing away form me. Dale is asleep. Not well from the looks of it. He is sweating profusely. Kinda gross.
The sound of two people fucking their brains fills the air.
“Ahh!” Dale sits up in bed as if he was being awoken from a horrible nightmare. Dale looks around the room to see what time it is. The fucking has caught his attention though.
Curious, Dale gets up and tippy toes across his room. Dale slowly opens his door. He creeps out into the hallway. He looks around. It sounds like not only that they are fucking, but, that someone, probably Darla, is getting a good ass spanking while they are going at it.
He creeps across the hallway and as if he was having a problem hearing them, he places his ear up against the door. Dale grins, shakes his head and walks away.
Dale, I’m sure a little jealous, walks to the kitchen and grabs a cup of water. He takes a sip as he walks into the living room. He sits down, grabs the remote and turns on MASH. He looks to the VCR and notices that it is 3:30 am.
After sitting through MASH and an infomercial on a syringe that can inject your meats with garlic cloves, Harry’s bedroom door flies open.
Harry storms out, totally naked, dripping with sweat, and heads straight for the kitchen. Harry slams his bottle of empty bottle of Crown down on the counter, opens the refrigerator, grabs the jug of water and takes a huge gulp.
Dale looks over at him, “Man, you and Darla can really go at it.”
Harry swallows, “Darla left a long ass time ago.” He takes another drink.
“Then who is in there with you?” Dale seems confused.
Harry swallows. “Nobody.”
With that, Harry put the water back in the fridge and power walked his naked ass back into his room giving his door a nice hard slam.
Dale on the other hand, looks lost.
Showing posts with label room. Show all posts
Showing posts with label room. Show all posts
Monday, June 2, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
The Room Mate - Chapter 1
The Room Mate
It has been almost 10 minutes since Dale and Ashley have walked through the door, poured their coffee, and not spoken. The only sounds that are echoing through this newly moved into apartment are that of children playing outside and of Dale slurping his coffee. It is quite annoying.
“So have you gotten any work lately?” Ashley says. She hasn’t looked at Dale since they have been in the room. She is just starring absently, at the coffee table.
The two sit on the black leather sofa that Dale got at Big Lots for only $299! Can you believe it?
Ashley has her legs crossed. She really looks a lot like Camille Keaton from I Spit on Your Grave by Meir Zarchy. I guess I like that movie. It tends to come up a lot. But let’s get back to Dale’s answer to Ashley’s most nerve wrecking question.
After a really long pause, Dale says “No.” Dale hasn’t looked at Ashley either. But he is sitting on the edge of the couch looking intently at nothing while he drinks his coffee with the drive of a mad man, hell bent on world domination.
Silence.
Ashley breaks it. “Have you been trying?”
“Yes.” Dale thinks his answer over a bit. “No. Every time I get on the computer to write something, I find that it’s all fucked up from Harry looking at porn or something, so I have to defrag it and clean it and fix it!” Dale takes a nice breath, a sip of coffee, and then sighs. “I just wish he would get his own computer.”
To give Harry a little bit of credit here, it’s not just porn that he is looking at. He does indeed look at a lot of porn on the internet, but what is really fucking the computer up is the fact that Harry is extremely competitive. So every time that Harry goes to log on to myspace, there is some stupid little flash game like, “Be the first to shave Brittney’s head!” or “Slap Bush” or some other stupid race. Whenever you do anything like that, your computer gets riddled with all kinds of spyware and bullshit that make your computer runs like a frozen tortoise.
Dale gets up and walks towards the kitchen. He doesn’t say excuse me when he walks past Ashley. Nor does Ashley try to move at all to get out of his way. It’s all very clumsy looking I think. As Dale walks by he asks, “You want some coffee?”
“No.” Ashley never raises her voice. She is very soothing when she speaks. Dale is having a very hard time right now because he wants to get defensive. Ashley continues, “I told you that you and Harry wouldn’t get along as well together once you moved in with him.”
Dale doesn’t respond.
“Have you unpacked yet?” This is a slightly stupid question considering that there are boxes lined up around the walls of the living room.
Dale walks back into the living room with his fresh cup of coffee. Again, the two do not acknowledge each other on the pass.
“No.” Dale answers. “Almost. I have just been coming in here and sitting in front of that computer and, not writing. I don’t write. It drives me crazy.”
“My dad told you that he would let you put a story in his magazine. He is willing to pay you.” Ashley’s voice hit the next octave on that last line. Her anger is starting to show. But now she is calm again. “You don’t want to get kicked out of your new place without even paying a months rent, do you?”
“No. It’s not that. I just can’t fucking work here! It’s too noisy with all of those fucking kids running around outside until the middle of the night. And then there’s Harry who all night long makes all of these weird ass noises and shit and it throws me off. I put on my headphones to drown him out and the mother fucker comes out here, dripping with sweat, with an empty bottle of Crown and trashes around out here! I can’t sleep, I can’t think…”
Ashley interrupts, “Maybe you should lay off the coffee.”
Just then, the front door flies open. It’s Harry, looking super fucking GQ even though he is stumbling drunk. He barely holds himself up as he comes through the door with a new lady friend who looks just as fucked up as he does.
Ashley doesn’t break her stare from the coffee table. “Hi, Harry.”
Harry and his lady friend don’t really stop walking as they enter. Harry tries to be polite anyway. “Hey, this is Darla. Darla, this is my room mate Dale and his girl Ashley. Now lets get to the Stabbin’ Cabin!”
Harry keeps walking towards the hallway and is dragging Darla by the hand. Darla on the other hand, is trying a little harder to be polite. Darla says, “What a pig. I am sorry guys. It was really nice to meet you.” And with that, Harry successfully pulled Darla into the Stabbin’ Cabin.
Dale lays his head back on the couch and places his hands over his eyes. “I’m loosing my fucking mind.”
It has been almost 10 minutes since Dale and Ashley have walked through the door, poured their coffee, and not spoken. The only sounds that are echoing through this newly moved into apartment are that of children playing outside and of Dale slurping his coffee. It is quite annoying.
“So have you gotten any work lately?” Ashley says. She hasn’t looked at Dale since they have been in the room. She is just starring absently, at the coffee table.
The two sit on the black leather sofa that Dale got at Big Lots for only $299! Can you believe it?
Ashley has her legs crossed. She really looks a lot like Camille Keaton from I Spit on Your Grave by Meir Zarchy. I guess I like that movie. It tends to come up a lot. But let’s get back to Dale’s answer to Ashley’s most nerve wrecking question.
After a really long pause, Dale says “No.” Dale hasn’t looked at Ashley either. But he is sitting on the edge of the couch looking intently at nothing while he drinks his coffee with the drive of a mad man, hell bent on world domination.
Silence.
Ashley breaks it. “Have you been trying?”
“Yes.” Dale thinks his answer over a bit. “No. Every time I get on the computer to write something, I find that it’s all fucked up from Harry looking at porn or something, so I have to defrag it and clean it and fix it!” Dale takes a nice breath, a sip of coffee, and then sighs. “I just wish he would get his own computer.”
To give Harry a little bit of credit here, it’s not just porn that he is looking at. He does indeed look at a lot of porn on the internet, but what is really fucking the computer up is the fact that Harry is extremely competitive. So every time that Harry goes to log on to myspace, there is some stupid little flash game like, “Be the first to shave Brittney’s head!” or “Slap Bush” or some other stupid race. Whenever you do anything like that, your computer gets riddled with all kinds of spyware and bullshit that make your computer runs like a frozen tortoise.
Dale gets up and walks towards the kitchen. He doesn’t say excuse me when he walks past Ashley. Nor does Ashley try to move at all to get out of his way. It’s all very clumsy looking I think. As Dale walks by he asks, “You want some coffee?”
“No.” Ashley never raises her voice. She is very soothing when she speaks. Dale is having a very hard time right now because he wants to get defensive. Ashley continues, “I told you that you and Harry wouldn’t get along as well together once you moved in with him.”
Dale doesn’t respond.
“Have you unpacked yet?” This is a slightly stupid question considering that there are boxes lined up around the walls of the living room.
Dale walks back into the living room with his fresh cup of coffee. Again, the two do not acknowledge each other on the pass.
“No.” Dale answers. “Almost. I have just been coming in here and sitting in front of that computer and, not writing. I don’t write. It drives me crazy.”
“My dad told you that he would let you put a story in his magazine. He is willing to pay you.” Ashley’s voice hit the next octave on that last line. Her anger is starting to show. But now she is calm again. “You don’t want to get kicked out of your new place without even paying a months rent, do you?”
“No. It’s not that. I just can’t fucking work here! It’s too noisy with all of those fucking kids running around outside until the middle of the night. And then there’s Harry who all night long makes all of these weird ass noises and shit and it throws me off. I put on my headphones to drown him out and the mother fucker comes out here, dripping with sweat, with an empty bottle of Crown and trashes around out here! I can’t sleep, I can’t think…”
Ashley interrupts, “Maybe you should lay off the coffee.”
Just then, the front door flies open. It’s Harry, looking super fucking GQ even though he is stumbling drunk. He barely holds himself up as he comes through the door with a new lady friend who looks just as fucked up as he does.
Ashley doesn’t break her stare from the coffee table. “Hi, Harry.”
Harry and his lady friend don’t really stop walking as they enter. Harry tries to be polite anyway. “Hey, this is Darla. Darla, this is my room mate Dale and his girl Ashley. Now lets get to the Stabbin’ Cabin!”
Harry keeps walking towards the hallway and is dragging Darla by the hand. Darla on the other hand, is trying a little harder to be polite. Darla says, “What a pig. I am sorry guys. It was really nice to meet you.” And with that, Harry successfully pulled Darla into the Stabbin’ Cabin.
Dale lays his head back on the couch and places his hands over his eyes. “I’m loosing my fucking mind.”
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